


A Jedi's Weapon

by Jena Bartley (jenab)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-05
Updated: 2011-02-05
Packaged: 2017-10-15 10:35:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/159963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenab/pseuds/Jena%20Bartley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vader’s thoughts on his son’s lightsaber.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Jedi's Weapon

Darth Vader watched as his son, Luke Skywalker turned his back to him. He looked down at the weapon in his hand and ignited it.

“I see you have constructed a new lightsaber.”

Luke cocked his head slightly towards him, the green blade humming between them.

“Your skills are complete.” Darth Vader shut down his son’s lightsaber, turning his back to him. “Indeed, you are powerful as the Emperor has foreseen.” The words were spoken into the night air, addressed to no one.

“Come with me.” The plea in Luke’s voice and mind washed over Vader. Within the depths of Darth Vader, the tiny part that was Anakin Skywalker, closed his eyes in despair and grief. To still feel grief after all these years. To even still exist as Anakin Skywalker.

“Obi-Wan once thought as you do.” He turned back to Luke. “You don’t know the power of the Dark Side. I must obey my master.” This boy, his son tempted him, called him back from the darkness and he couldn’t help responding.

“I will not turn.” Certainty and conviction filled Luke’s voice, his body mirroring it. Echoes of a small boy telling his new master the same thing in the darkest part of night reverberating across the years. “And you will be forced to kill me.”

“If that is your destiny.” Calm acceptance was Vader’s only response to Luke’s statement. But inside, Anakin howled his protest to the force. To kill his only child was unthinkable.

“Search your feelings, father. You can’t do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of the hate.” Blue eyes, so much like his own, burned into him, trying to reach his father, not the black, soulless monster standing before him.

“It is too late for me, son.” His voice softened, Anakin Skywalker coming to the surface. “The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force.” Vader rose up again, pushing Anakin back down into the tiny space he had willingly fled to. He motioned for the stormtroopers to come forward. “He is you master now.”

Sadness and dying hope flickered across Luke’s face. “Then my father is truly dead.” He was lead away by the stormtroopers, leaving both Darth Vader and Anakin Skywalker alone.

Anakin walked to the edge of the landing platform, looking out over the darkened forest, his son’s lightsaber clutched tightly in his hand. His artificial breathing filled his ears, a familiar sound but one that belonged to Darth Vader, not Anakin Skywalker. Anakin Skywalker had died when he fell into the melting pit after fighting his former master. Replaced and remoulded into Darth Vader. How could he still exist? He had let himself be seduced to the Dark Side, willingly turned his back on his master and beloved wife and become a Sith Lord, following his new master’s orders with all his heart. Only Vader existed, responsible for eliminating the Jedi and their way of life, ensuring the Emperor’s total control of the inner and outer worlds.

Then his son came and faced him on Cloud City. From the first time he had seen the boy on the first Death Star, he knew there was a connection between them, he could feel it singing to him through the Force. Through meditation, he realized the boy was his son, his and Amidala’s. With that realization came the first crack in the mind of Vader’s memories, memories that belonged only to Anakin Skywalker. Of being trained by Obi-Wan Kenobi and the friendship between them which only deepened when he had become a Knight. Loving Amidala, her beauty and courage always drawing him to her. Their marriage on Naboo with Obi-Wan at his side as best man. So many memories stirred up by his confrontation with his son. These he could deal with and push back into the darkness of his soul. They had no meaning to him now. He would find his son again and turn him over to the Dark Side to stand by his side forever.

A snap-hiss and the green blade of his son’s new lightsaber filled the air, humming quietly. He stared at it, mesmerized by the greenish tint. A Jedi’s weapon, symbol of a Jedi’s skill with the Force. Each weapon unique, lovingly crafted by its creator to fit perfectly in the palm of a hand, the colour carefully selected. What had made Luke choose the green gems for his new lightsaber, a green the exact shade of another lightsaber from so long ago. Was it prompting by the Force or old Ben Kenobi whispering to him from the beyond? Perhaps neither. The boy couldn’t know of Qui-Gon Jinn and he doubted Obi-Wan would have told him anything about the long deceased Jedi Master.

Qui-Gon Jinn. A man he had come to worship and admire in the few short days he had known him. Noble and calm, embodying everything he imagined a Jedi to be. His lightsaber had been green, such a vivid colour in his world of browns and yellows of Tatoonie. A wonderous weapon wielded by a master, striking awe in a boy who had only heard about such things from spacer tales. But Qui-Gon had died at the hands of a Sith Lord on Naboo, his death avenged by his Padawan Learner, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

When Obi-Wan took Anakin as his own Padawan, Qui-Gon’s lightsaber hung from his belt, a reminder of the man they had both admired and loved, though only for a short time on Anakin’s part. Obi-Wan’s own lightsaber had been lost in the battle. He made no attempt to build another, instead using his Master’s lightsaber, as though to keep a part of Qui-Gon with him. That lightsaber was a constant reminder of the man they had lost, helping to build the bonds between them, first of Master and Padawan then as friends. Whenever it was ignited in training or battle, it felt as though Qui-Gon was still with them, watching over them from his place in the Force.

Vader forced the memories back, forcing Anakin back into the hidden depths of his mind. But one memory persisted, demanding to be remembered. A padawan barely a week old, Anakin had awakened in the middle of the night. He sat up in bed trying to figure out what had woken him up. For the first time since leaving Tatoonie, he was warm, wrapped in several thick blankets provided thoughtfully by one of the Queen’s handmaidens at her request. Then he heard it or rather felt it, a quiet sound of grief in the back of his mind. Tentatively reaching out with his mind along the new and extremely fragile bond between his master and himself, he discovered the source of the disturbance. For a moment he considered ignoring the sound, but the grief behind it made up his mind. Quietly, he tossed back the bed covers and padded over to the door connecting his bedroom with his master’s.

The door opened soundlessly at his touch. In the other room, moonlight spilled over the curled up figure in the bed. He fingered his new braid, biting his lower lip.

“Master?” The figure on the bed started, lifting his head to look at Anakin. The moonlight shone on tear stained cheeks before one hand wiped away the tears.

“Anakin, what’s wrong?” Obi-Wan’s voice trembled slightly, hoarse from crying.

“I heard you crying.” He frowned, then corrected himself, “no I felt you in the back of my mind, I think.” He tilted his head, staring at his new master.

“I’m sorry, Ani. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” A gentle brush against his mind, conveyed Obi-Wan’s regret at waking up his padawan. Anakin revelled in the feel of that touch. Those touches grew more frequent as their bond deepened and he welcomed them. It meant his master wanted to train him, to be connected with him, that he was wanted and loved, and not just a promise to be fulfilled by a dying man.

“It’s okay.” He dug his foot into the floor, wondering what to do next. Though shielded more tightly, Obi-Wan’s grief still came through. He missed Qui-Gon in a way that Anakin couldn’t comprehend. Only later would he recognize that deep sorrow as his master grieving for the loss of the other half of his soul. So much so, he never took another lover. A common reaction, Yoda had told him, when Anakin had asked him about the severed bond he could sense in his master’s mind. It didn’t interfere with his bond but it still pained Obi-Wan greatly and he wanted to help ease the pain.

But at nine years old, all he understood was Obi-Wan missed Qui-Gon deeply. Prompted by instinct, he scrambled onto the bed. His master held the covers aside and he dove under them, curling up against him. Obi-Wan wrapped his arms and covers around him tightly, encasing him in a cocoon of warmth and security. They lay quietly, both lost in their own thoughts.

“I won’t turn.” He rolled over suddenly to gaze into Obi-Wan’s eyes. Determination and conviction shone from his eyes. “I know the Council thinks I will turn to the Dark Side, but I won’t. The Dark Side killed Master Qui-Gon and I don’t want to be part of anything that killed him.” Tears shimmered in his master’s eyes and his arms tightened around Anakin.

Another memory pushed forward in Vader’s mind, demanding to be noticed. At the age of ten, he had gained an astonishing control of the Force in all things mechanical. Allowed to build his first lightsaber, he remembered his pleasure in crafting the universal symbol of all Jedi. The gems glittering in all shades of colour winked at him from the trays they lay upon. The choice was easy, he choose a set of vibrant blue gems to give his lightsaber a bluish-violet light. The exact colour of the lightsaber his master had lost in the battle with the Sith Lord. The delight and wonder in Obi-Wan’s eyes as he examined his new lightsaber filled Anakin with warmth. How could he chose any other colour for his weapon? All the other colours had no meaning or attraction to him and he didn’t want to use green. Though he knew his master wouldn’t mind him having a green lightsaber, Anakin chose blue to honour his master. There was only going to be one green lightsaber and it already hung from Obi-Wan’s belt, a warm reminder of Qui-Gon Jinn.

Anakin Skywalker never lost his lightsaber until the day he fought with his former master. The blue lightsaber was lost from his hand in the battle with Obi-Wan. When he died in the melting pit and was reborn as Darth Vader, he chose blood red gems to power his lightsaber. A signal to all that the Sith were reborn and stronger then before. A not so subtle reminder to his one time master that his lover had died at the end of a red lightsaber wielded by a Sith lord.

Darth Vader closed down his son’s lightsaber. What had happened to Qui-Gon Jinn’s own lightsaber? Obi-Wan had not used that weapon when he had confronted a turned Anakin Skywalker. Instead, he had built a new lightsaber, a blue one, the same as Anakin’s. It was as though he didn’t want to taint the memory of Qui-Gon Jinn by trying to slay the boy Qui-Gon considered to be the Chosen One.

On the first Death Star, he thought the circle had been completed with the confrontation and killing of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Staring at Luke’s lightsaber, he realized that wasn’t true. The circle was now nearing completion, a circle begun long ago on a desert world with the arrival of a Jedi Master into the life of a nine year old slave boy.


End file.
